So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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