Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
