Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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