his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize