Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
