Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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