my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
