They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize