I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
