dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
