I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
