So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
