Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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