You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
