We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
