last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
