No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
