Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
