I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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