My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
