It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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