I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
