I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
