i just google imaged poop.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
