So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
