remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I intend to get homeless drunk
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
