the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
