So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize