You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
