low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
