Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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