If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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