i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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