where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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