We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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