heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize