I think my vagina is haunted
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
