Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
