What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize