They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
