never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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