Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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