He is such a slut. More and more my type.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
