umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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