yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
