If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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