Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
