all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
