I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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