Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize