No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
