Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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