so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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