She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Houston, we have a squirter
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize