You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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