come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
