Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize