so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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