Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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