Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
