I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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