is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
