Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
