At least make sure they are 18
Why
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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