friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
