turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize