Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i've created a new STD.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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