I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
