I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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