Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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